BDSM

BDSM (bondage, dominance/ discipline sadism/submission, masochism) lifestyle versus physically and emotionally abusive unhealthy relationships: HUGE difference. I’ve seen a few of my young clients get involved in what they think is the “lifestyle”, when really, they’ve gotten involved with someone who is using the frame of BDSM as a cover for abusive, controlling and manipulative behaviour. .
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Despite what some might think, CONSENT and COMMUNICATION are paramount in this community. Complete and clear consent is necessary for safety and trust to exist which are also values held to a very high standard in BDSM play. .
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To obtain consent, there must be clear and ongoing communication. There must be consistent check-ins to make sure everyone is okay, especially with those new to the lifestyle. How this is structured can be agreed upon in advance, though can also be altered at any moment. .
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The submissive is truly the one in control as they have the power to pause, stop or change things at any moment. There should always be a debrief following a scene with a play partner, so you can share and discuss any surprising or difficult things that may have come up for you.
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If you don’t feel that you can communicate with your play partners - you should not be playing with them. I cannot stress this enough! BDSM play should be safe and enjoyable for those involved.