Infidelity, Cheating, Affairs

Infidelity. Cheating. Affair. This happens, it’s excruciating but it doesn’t necessarily have to be the end. .
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While I’m certainly not an advocate of infidelity, I’ve seen lessons learned and partners and relationships grow deeper as a result of it.
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One of the reasons affairs hurt so much is the secrecy and feeling as though you no longer know your partner. Typically when an affair occurs (not always), partners have lost each other long before the infidelity. They stoped being curious about one another, they stopped seeing bids for affection, they stopped seeing each other completely, or maybe even lost themselves.
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What I’ve seen affairs do is shake this up. Partners wake up really quickly and take notice. And if both partners still want to be in the relationship (this fact is imperative!! - if one or both partner no longer want to be together then that changes everything). .
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After discovery, if things are done properly (usually with the help of a therapist) partners have to opportunity to find themselves and each other again. People at this juncture are typically more open and honest, and less concerned about hurt feelings which works better for reestablishing a relationship worth wanting. .
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It is so painful but it is possible to grow from infidelity and develop a deeper more meaningful relationship as a result. To be clear, I’m not suggesting an affair to deepen relationships - this is not always the outcome and it’s much easier to do this without the affair! .
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@estherperelofficial is a great resource for explaining this further.