'Sex' is Not Synonymous to Intercourse

« Did you have sex with him? » « No, we did everything but! » ... does this conversation sound familiar? To most people, it does. However, by equating sex to only intercourse, we’re doing ourselves a disservice for a few reasons.
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When we label oral sex or manual stimulation (using hands and fingers to touch and rub) as « fore play », we imply that intercourse is the main event and the rest of it is just extra. Once again, enter patriarchy (sadly this plays a large role in how our sex education has been formed today so excuse my broken record). .
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If the main event is a way that typically doesn’t allow a woman to climax, do we see the issue with this? .
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If intercourse is the main event, does that mean certain members of the lgbtq community never have « sex » unless they’re using a strap on? .
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Again, some may think this doesn’t matter, but language shapes the way we learn and think about things. Orgasm and pleasure equality is important in making sex fun and worth wanting. If the only way we see sex is through a rigid lens that only includes one act in various ways, where typically only a man will climax - it’s no wonder more and more women are having desire issues. Language matters! Let’s replace fore play with sex play and stop referring to penetrative sex as the main event!