Myths about Consensual Non-Monogamous Relationships

There are many myths that accompany alternative relationship structures/consensual non-monogamy, I hope to bust a few of them here. .
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Myth #1 - Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is just another form of cheating.
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This, in my opinion, could not be further from the truth. Infidelity is toxic behavior due to the deception and secrecy that is inevitably necessary. It puts partners against each other versus on the same team. CNM on the other hand requires a great deal of open, honest communication. It says it right in the name! It is consensual. This allows partners to problem solve and navigate difficult conversations together - effectively bringing them closer, if done properly.
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Myth #2: CNM is a sexual free-for-all, only for the sexually obsessed and deviant. .
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I haven’t met a successful relationship who just “carte blanche” sleeps with whoever they want, in an obsessive manner. Boundaries, limits and potential sex partners are discussed ahead of time for this to be successful. And that kind of communication suggests pretty significant thought, planning, commitment and dedication to a partner and to themselves. CNM can also include relationships that are not sexually based at all but rather based on companionship and non sexual affection. .
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Myth #3: CNM can’t be part of healthy relationships. .
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I can’t stress this enough, if ongoing communication is the central touchstone in a relationship, it can absolutely be healthy. The difficulty is that people often see CNM as a solution to their relationship problems but never address the communication breakdowns. .
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I’m not suggesting that CNM is for everyone because it certainly isn’t, but for some it is the relationship structure that fits for them. And that can be just as healthy (or as toxic) as a monogamous one.

Noémie Kyryluk