The Lenses We Use

Sometimes we get caught up with the lens we see our partner(s) through versus the reality before us. Sometimes we box our partner(s) into a role; mother, wife, husband, father, breadwinner, caregiver, nurturer, all around bad-ass etc. .
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By doing this, we miss the WHOLE complicated individual and flatten them into a simplistic single dimension. This is usually a disservice to not only your partner(s) but the relationship itself. .
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This can also happen sexually. Sometimes we start to see our partner(s) through one dimensional sexual lenses too: Madonna, innocent, pure, dirty, vanilla, whore etc. .
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When we look at the whole person we avoid limiting our relationships. One can be both a great father and still appreciate being dominated in the bedroom or a wonderful nurturing wife and enjoy a little kink some days and vanilla play others, .
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What lens do you see your partner(s) through? Is it accurate? Are you flattening them into a single role instead of a whole person?

Noémie Kyryluk