How Can I Best Support You?

In moments of crisis, there can be a lot of different things we need or want from our partners and sometimes we don’t necessarily get those things. A lot of times the reason we don’t get those things is because our partners aren’t mind readers and don’t always know what we need in those moments. .
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A simple way, of course, is to ask the partner in crisis how they best want to be supported. Is it advice and problem solving, or is listening and holding space? Is it a tender hug or a pros and cons list? .
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Sometimes it’s not so easy to know the answer as to what we need sometimes we might think we need a hug and then following that recognize that maybe that pros and cons list and an encouraging kick in the butt might be better. The important thing is to allow the partner in crisis to come to that conclusion on their own. It’s possible that when you’re the partner looking in, you’ll know that the kick in the butt will be the endgame anyways but it’s imperative to not outpace your partner in getting there. Otherwise, despite best efforts and intentions, it won’t feel supportive. The best way is to ask and allow the answer to be your direction: how can I best support you?