Sometimes a Good Goodbye is What is Best

A common misconception in relationship counseling is that the relationship should be saved at all cost and if it not the therapy has failed. There are times in relationship counseling when the best course of action is for facilitated « good goodbye ». .
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While this might not be a popular notion, some relationships are maybe not meant to survive. Dr. Barry McCarthy describes this as a « fatally flawed marriage ». He defines these as relationships where specific bonds are broken: respect, trust, and intimacy. What this looks like in practice is misrepresentation, dishonesty and lack of integrity. Of course, emotionally, physically and sexually abusive relationships fit into the fatally flawed category too but it is not necessary to be that extreme for separation to be the healthiest option. .
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While relationships can be fairly incredible in what they can withstand, the most defining way to know if a relationship is fatally flawed, is if both partners aren’t equally willing to struggle and put in the same amount of effort in salvaging the relationship. .
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If this what is going on in your relationship, while so painful, counseling can still be helpful in providing you with a good goodbye and a kind exit.