Duty Sex

Duty sex is when one partner feels that they are fulfilling an obligation by having with the other partner. I see this often in couples where there has been infidelity and the partner feels the need to have sex with the partner who has been unfaithful to ensure they don’t stray again. I also see this with couples that have a desire discrepancy, when one partner is having sex solely to satisfy the needs of the other. There are many other dynamics this can also be part of.
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The issue with this, however, is it’s a short term solution to a long term problem. If you are having sex out of “duty”, inevitably resentment will build because often people feel that they are doing their partner a favor by satisfying their needs over their own. Typically, the sex ends up being of poor quality because one partner isn’t really invested and sees it more of a chore on their to-do list. And like many chores/favors on a to-do list, curiosity and creativity go by the wayside as does interest and potentially pleasure. .
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The partner who is receiving the duty sex inevitably notices the decline in variety and investment and typically starts requesting a little more from the sexual health of the relationship, which could deepen the resentment ... and so starts the death spiral of sex life worth wanting.